Slow process

To understand what it is
I am still learning
Trying to put others first
And being genuinely happy
When they are genuinely happy.
To have patience with others
And myself.
To realizing that imperfection is human
And I am only so.
To knowing that happiness comes
From the self, from within.
Doing what makes you happy
Is the Purpose.
Hopefully it can be shared
But only once you are at peace
With yourself
With the world.
What is happiness?
It is staying in and reading a book,
It is going out and meeting new people,
It is walking through the untouched forest,
It is taking a long road trip with your close friend,
It is getting that goodnight kiss from your lover,
It is the growth after apologizing for something you are actually sorry for,
It is the respect for standing up fro what you believe in,
It is traveling around the world and experiencing other cultures,
It is staying in your zip code and finding yourself,
It is laughing, crying, arguing, loving,
It is watching the sun rise over the hazy mountains,
It is sighing as it dips into the sea,
It is gazing as the stars with a mixture of awe and terror,
It is dancing under the moonlight.

Evolution is a slow process while life is a fast one.

Asleep through Life

I sleep all day, to stay up at night
I make friends with the Moon and the Stars' dim lights
Only to watch them fade in the Morning's slow fight

No one expects the most of you in the darkness
Or wants to hear about life's melodic harshness
But only that you disappear into their social marshes.

Sleep brings no comfort
Just a forced stillness that suffocates
And the treadmill keeps running

And I keep lying,
Asleep through life.

You Take Life

You are a barefoot child running through the forest
Skipping over fallen leaves and soft grass,
Joy wrapped around every impulsive motion
Those feet of yours eagerly make.
You are honest, brave, and true
To the wonder that's ingrained in Youth.
Like the trees around you,
You would grow, spreading your rings
Around and around and around,
And those who looked could see the evolution.
You are a sturdy cabin built by the hands
Of a self-made man, covered in callouses
And scars of a rough life.
You are what gives him protection, security, and peace
In an eternal surrounding wilderness.
You are the Moon and the Stars
Lending wonder and mystery
To the direction life takes
//To the Directions
You Take Life.

Six a/m/

A February morning
Six a/m/ still dark
But a city glow over the apartments
And a heavy mist, damp
Two birds sing
From the tall pine outside my window
And the snow slowly tells the story of the coming of Spring,
dripping from four stories up.
The air is cold on my weary face
It opens my eyes
And clears my heart
And makes it beat faster for the wait of
Dawn.

I Look at you

I look at you and see waterfalls, see a current, a persistence that can slowly smooth away the edges.
I see clouds, see shapes, solid but transparent in the winter light.
I see a soul that can bruise, can get trapped in the undertow, and pulled into the dark.
We sail away on ribbons, waltzing in the storm
We leave it all behind, carvings on the doors.
Painted boats rock against their rope
Tethered to the posts of a forgotten world.
Wooden floors sigh with impatience
As they wait for the dust to settle,
Instead of dancing in the twilight.
My fingers trace your dreams
Feeling their textures, their twists and turns,
Lingering on the Fall trees and Spring flowers.
Sweaters wrap around us,
Bumpy and braided,
Knitting together mountains, streams, grass.
You are evaporating, Waterfall,
And until there is just a Light
In the clear midnight sky,
Transgressing.
I look at you
And see.

Cease to Be

Fog sinks into the tal
And you are alone
With the humming of the Indian trees
and the seeping of the dew into the moss.
Just a rest, you whisper, just a rest.
You lay your aching body
Down upon the cushioning ferns,
hugging you like a mother holds her newborn:
protecting, trusting, comforting,
Safe.
Du bist allein
And your heart beats in rhythm
To the dancing Herbst leaves,
To the humming of the bumblebees.
Your skins starts to stretch,
It fits more comfortably,
More freely.
You can move,
Think, Imagine, Grow, Create, Love,
Cease to Be.
You Cease to Be in that moment
When your heart is not your own,
When your skin is not on loan,
When your mind is not drone.
You are Open
And Everything washes through you
Like Spring's first ice melt:
You are clean and reborn
and refreshed.
Enveloped, you open your eyes
And see for the first time
Autumns new colors.

My Way

The constant droning of the fan
Pushes hot, stale air across my face
Rustles my hair, unwanted.


I breathe through my nose,
Hear my own intake of life
And let it go, 
Trying to push out 
The Bad, The Doubt, The Worry
That are sitting in my lungs.
They are seeping into my stomach,
Like a poison
Like a knot
Like a fist.


Anxiety gnaws at my conscious
Making sleep always elusive
And distant.
What if I am wrong?
What if I don't find what I'm seeking?
What if It stays the same?
It's always a step in front 
Out of reach
Retracting
And leading me away - 
It's way -
Ma way?